Revelations in Bettis Book

The Post Gazette has unveiled some of the stories that will be told when Jerome Bettis officially releases his autobiography in a few weeks. Among the stories told are tales about the scheming of the front office to replace Bettis and Kordell. The Pittsburgh Sports Guys made a few calls and have obtained the full manuscript, something the PG could not do. Here are some of the other Bettis truths disclosed in "The Bus. My Life in and out of a Helmet":

• Jerome was not pleased at being nicknamed "The Bus". Being a big David Hasselhoff fan he tried, in 1998, to force his nickname to be "Night Rocker" to no avail.

Pure sex

• Jerome invented the internet while at ND, not Al Gore.

• Jerome and Big Ben instantly bonded during Ben's rooking season when the Bus taught him how to fake injuries

If it wasn't faked, then why didn't anyone see Ben leave the hospital
or him at all after the surgeries? He was hiding his lack of injuries/scars

• Cowher, Dan Rooney and Kevin Colbert are all members of the QBKKK, a group of NFL professionals that are against the black QB in football and planted ALL of the evidence against Micheal Vick

See, obviously fake

• The PG revealed only partial truth about Cowher committing to Kordell as the QB of the Steelers. What the PG left unprinted is Bettis' claim that Cowher was incredibly committed to Kordell off the field.

Cowher was the Steel behind Kordell

• Cowher, Rooney and Colbert were applauded for finding Maddux in an unusual league, the XFL. Bettis reveals the truth that the White Trinity originally took their search to expel the black Kordell from the QB spot to Major League Baseball and Kurt Schilling

• The name Tex Goldstein is a Steelers' classic. Besides being the name Jerome used to enter the hospital, it was also the name for the patch of warts on Kordell's face and the name Casey Hampton gives each of his victims. Casey hates Jews and Cowboys.

Casey Hampton celebrating another Jewish Cowboy genecide

• Bettis nearly brought the entire video game industry to its knees when he attempted to murder John Madden. Bettis, like most of America, could not take one more idiotic piece of football commentating followed by a "boom".
  

Patron Saint Bob Costas was able to thwart Bettis' plan

• Bettis was able to escape the sexual assault charges brought against him several years back thanks to a freak DNA accident where he actually has the DNA of James Brown. That would explain why 3 unknown kids of James Brown have been found after the Godfather of Soul passed away... with so much free time on his hands, Bettis just can't help getting his freak on

even the Simpsons poked fun at James Brown's propensity to screw

• The most shocking revelation tears down the accomplishments of the city's sports hero, Mario Lemieux, Jerome used the money won from suing the woman that falsely accused him of sexual misconduct to save the Penguins.
  

Lemieux speechless

• Jerome blackmailed Gary Bettman into not allowing Jim Ballsilli to purchase the Pens. Bettis owns pictures of Bettman's illegitimate son and Kordell sharing a moment
  

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